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  <title>Creative Loafing Sarasota: Andisheh Nouraee</title>
  <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com</link>
  <description>Sarasota Creative Loafing Weekly Newspaper, shelter from the mainstream for news, event listings, dining, movies and music..</description>
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  <copyright>Copyright 2009Creative Loafing Sarasota. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, Creative Loafing Sarasota readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact Creative Loafing Sarasota.</copyright>
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  <pubDate>Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:01 MST</pubDate>
  <lastBuildDate>Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:44:26 MST</lastBuildDate>
  <generator>Dispatch Gyrobase</generator>
  
    <item>
    <title>How can America stop Somali sea pirates?</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/how_can_america_stop_somali_sea_pirates_/Content?oid=217967</link>
    <description>
      <![CDATA[
       
      
        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      How can America stop Somalia&#39;s sea pirates? Sea piracy off the coast of East Africa is a growing problem. It has been for a while, actually. There were 111 pirate attacks off Somalia&#39;s coast in 2008 -- double the number of attacks there were in 2007. So far in 2009, there have already been 68 pirate attacks near Somalia. At the moment, Somali sea pirates are holding approximately 20 vessels and 300 people captive. But despite the sharp increase in
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    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 21 Apr 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <item>
    <title>Why are Sean Hannity and other right-wingers accusing Obama of slashing the Pentagon budget, when in fact he&amp;#39;s increasing it?</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/why_are_sean_hannity_and_other_right_wingers_accusing_obama_of_slashing_the_pentagon_budget_when_in_fact_he_s_increasing_it_/Content?oid=217175</link>
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      <![CDATA[
       
      
        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      Is Obama shrinking the U.S. military? On April 6, the Obama Administration unveiled its proposed 2010 military budget. Republican condemnation of Obama&#39;s Pentagon spending plan was swift and severe. &quot;It seems the only place the President is willing to cut spending is on the armed forces,&quot; said Rep. Tom Price (R-Georgia). &quot;President Obama is disarming America,&quot; said Sen. James Inhofe (R-Oklahoma!). &quot;Our sons and daughters are risking their lives fighting an enemy whose sole purpose is the destruction of our
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Why is Obama getting a pass on Afghanistan troop increases?</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/why_is_obama_getting_a_pass_on_afghanistan_troop_increases_/Content?oid=216486</link>
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      <![CDATA[
       
      
        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      A Don&#39;t panic! special update: What is the U.S. mission in Afghanistan? Dear reader(s), In recent days, I&#39;ve experienced a surprising emotion: nostalgia for the Bush era. It&#39;s not nostalgia for his administration&#39;s catastrophic pairing of cronyism and incompetence. It&#39;s not nostalgia for his &quot;kinda-drunk John Wayne with a speech impediment&quot; public speaking style. Nor is it nostalgia for the way Bush turned great words like &quot;liberty&quot; and &quot;democracy&quot; into jingoistic mantras, or the fact that he so sullied the
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 07 Apr 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=215743</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      How can I avoid joining al-Qaeda by mistake? Attention job seekers! Don&#39;t be discouraged by the nation&#39;s ballooning unemployment figures. There are plenty of great jobs out there. You just need to start being creative about where you look, and open-minded about what kind of jobs you&#39;re willing to take. For example, if you&#39;re a physically fit black man who enjoys acting in non-sexual wrestling videos, you can earn a quick $125 simply by visiting Craigslist and answering the ad
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 31 Mar 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=215001</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      Will the Obama Administration make peace with Iran? While Americans have been distracted in recent weeks by a worsening economic downturn, Michelle Obama&#39;s toned arms, and &quot;Bachelor&quot; Jason Mesnick&#39;s apparent inability to choose between identical, fame-hungry, tanorexic airheads, Iran has been going about its business like it&#39;s a separate country or something. On Feb. 4, Iran launched a satellite into orbit for the first time. The satellite is called the Omid (pronounced oh-MEED). It means hope -- as in, &quot;I
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 24 Mar 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=214306</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      Is the global economic crisis going to lead to another world war? So, the other day, I was assembling a new wine tower in my living room when some creepy old Bob Marley track popped up on my Pandora. &quot;Them belly full, but we hungry,&quot; Bob sang. &quot;A hungry mon is an angry mon.&quot; How do you say &quot;buzzkill&quot; in, like, Jamaicanese? I don&#39;t want to hear about poverty while I&#39;m deciding whether Cabernet Sauvignon and Shiraz should have their
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 17 Mar 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=213803</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      Is Mexico&#39;s drug war a threat to U.S. national security? The El Paso, Texas/Ju&aacute;rez, Mexico metropolitan area has a long history of violence. I should know. For it was out in the west Texas town of El Paso that I was gunned down by several cowboys. They were avenging my shooting of a dashing young stranger in nearby Rose&#39;s Cantina. Wild as the west Texas wind he was, he challenged me for the love of wicked Feleena, an evil Mexican
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 10 Mar 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=213406</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      Why is Pakistan so screwed up? Over the years, I have developed several poorly-reasoned theories to help me understand the world. It&#39;s a habit I probably picked up from my dad, who, 20 years ago, suggested to me that the Nation of Islam, led by Louis Farrakhan, exists so people with bad credit could change their last names to &quot;Muhammad&quot; or &quot;X&quot; and more easily get car loans. At the time he expressed the idea, dad was having a rough
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 03 Mar 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=213035</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      What is the Swat Valley? The Swat Valley is a magical place in northern Pakistan where every child is born with the innate ability to batter down doors, rescue hostages and safely apprehend suspected drug kingpins. Additionally, the area&#39;s notoriously boy-crazy, clique-y teenage girls inspired the hugely popular Swat Valley High teen fiction series. All lies. I admit it. But the truth is only slightly more fantastic. The Swat Valley is, by all accounts, a natural paradise. It is frequently
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Wed, 25 Feb 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=212573</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      Is Pakistan finally getting serious about fighting terrorists? One of the things average Americans most loathe about political leaders is their inability to speak clearly. &quot;I screwed up&quot; becomes &quot;Mistakes were made.&quot; &quot;I caused a problem&quot; becomes &quot;We have a problem.&quot; &quot;I am one of the two or three worst presidents in American history&quot; becomes &quot;Ultimately, it&#39;ll be up to historians to decide.&quot; Next time you get irritated at an American politician for using responsibility-shirking language, be thankful Pakistan&#39;s Interior
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 17 Feb 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=211476</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      What were the results of Iraq&#39;s recent elections? A couple weeks ago, I mentioned how I keep a list of important things I don&#39;t understand (canine foot odor, Hillary Clinton&#39;s appointment as Secretary of State, etc.). This week, I add to that list. Why don&#39;t people laugh out loud, or at least give a sarcastic eye-roll, when they hear about U.S. troops overseas assisting elections? Too many U.S. states and municipalities have dysfunctional voting systems for us to be proudly
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 10 Feb 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=210267</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      What is the U.S. mission in Afghanistan? Critics of the not-yet-passed-as-I&#39;m-writing-this economic stimulus package complain it&#39;s packed with wasteful spending that won&#39;t do anything to defibrillate the U.S. economy. Among the spending singled-out as wasteful by critics: $25 million to improve trails for all-terrain vehicles, $400 million for the National Endowment of the Arts and $335 million to help fight the spread of STDs. As someone whose lifelong dream it is to film ironic, noir-ish sex-ed videos in remote corners
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Wed, 04 Feb 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=209025</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      Can foreign countries bribe the U.S. Secretary of State? The list of important things I don&#39;t understand is long, and growing. Why, for example, do my dog Mathilde&#39;s feet always smell like Fritos? My other dog Sarah&#39;s feet never smell like anything. They live in the same house and go on the same walks. Their feet should smell the same. And would anyone buy the Mamma Mia! movie soundtrack? Fun movie, yes. But why would you listen to Pierce Brosnan
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Wed, 28 Jan 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t Panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=207696</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      What is white phosphorous and is Israel using it in Gaza? On Dec. 27, Israel attacked the Gaza Strip -- a small coastal enclave abutting Israel and the very crowded home of 1.5 million Palestinians. As of Jan., 1,080 Palestinians have been killed in Gaza, 765 of them were civilians. An additional 5,100 Palestinians have been wounded. Thirteen Israelis have been killed. Three of them were civilians. An additional 80 Israelis have been wounded. The disparity in the number of
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    </description>
    <category>News (Old)/Features</category>
    <pubDate>Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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    <title>Don&amp;#39;t panic!</title>
    <link>http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/don_t_panic_/Content?oid=202120</link>
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        By Andisheh Nouraee
      
      
      What are the goals of the War On Terror&trade;? (part deux) Last week, in a column correctly described as the best newspaper column I wrote last week, I noted that the focus of the War On Terror&trade; has shifted from the Middle East to South Asia. Public discussion of this shift tends to dwell on Afghanistan -- where American talking-heads are hoping former Surgin&#39; Gen. David Petraeus will be able to produce a successful sequel to his Iraq success. Call
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    </description>
    <category>Opinion/Don&amp;#39;t Panic</category>
    <pubDate>Tue, 09 Dec 2008 04:00:00 MST</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://sarasota.creativeloafing.com">Creative Loafing Sarasota</source>
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